Sunday, September 25

Every song on ‘PaRappa the Rapper’ from worst to best

It’s hard to believe that the first time we met PaRappa the Rappa was exactly 25 years ago in his debut game, Rappa the rapper. Since then, everyone’s favorite rap-loving PlayStation pup has only appeared in PlayStation All-Stars and a PS4 remaster of his games. PaRappa the Rapper pioneered the rhythm game genre, and we wouldn’t have titles like build sand, Guitar Hero, The Friday night fun without him. So, in honor of this 25th anniversary, we here at Juice Mobile have taken it upon ourselves to bring you a definitive ranking of PaRappa’s best (and worst) songs.

14. “All the rap from the masters” (PTR)

Good. So the reason this one is on the bottom rung is that it’s a repeat of the previous songs up to this point, just… with a bathroom theme. That’s how it is. Rap fights against your instructors to get to the bathroom first. Each of PaRappa the Rapper’s four songs shine brighter on their own than in this gas station medley.

13. “Food Court” (PTR2)

Similar to “All Master’s Rap”, “Food Court” is a repeat of the five songs you’ve played so far on PaRappa the rapper 2. However, “Food Court” instantly ranks higher on our list because it is 8-bit and has a video game theme. You are playing a video game IN a video game. (Hey, we love a trope.) Similarly, the songs are remixed in this round as chiptune, allowing you to experience these familiar melodies in a different and refreshing way.

12. “Fear of hair” (PTR2)

There is nothing TOO outstanding about “Hair Scare”. It’s your standard PaRappa rhythm rap and feels similar in its choppy style to “Chop Chop Master Onion’s Rap”. Once again, PaRappa has to balance a variety of commands and combos through Snip, Trim, Dye, etc. However, the warning “Kids don’t try this at home” always makes us laugh.

11. “Love always!” (PTR2)

“Always Love” is the end of PaRappa the rapper 2, and unfortunately it doesn’t have much bombastic final energy. Instead, it feels like a funk version of the ending of the first game. That said, seeing PaRappa accompanied on stage by all of his musical friends is a great addition, and yes, as we mentioned earlier, the base of this song is very original and fresh.

10. “Romantic Love” (PTR2)

What happens when you mix karate and love? You get “Romantic Love”, the second song from PaRappa the rapper 2. Congratulations to Chop Chop Master Onion for expanding his karate business! Even better: this smooth number is a duet! So feel free to grab your partner and enjoy this romantic rap.

9. “Cheap, cheap, cooking chicken rap” (PTR)

Now this may be a controversial version, but Cheap Cheap’s rap, aka “Seafood Cake,” isn’t in our top five favorites. Cheap Cheap tends to be freestyle, with a unique flow that makes this one of the hardest levels in the game. Its complexity gives it an edge, but not enough to place it higher on this list. But, there is a silver lining – you can learn how to bake a delicious seafood cake!

8. “Sister Moosesha” (PTR2)

Instructor Moosesha’s rap is a fast and fun follow up to BIG’s slower beats. He even throws a callback to his sister’s song from Rappa the rapper in his rap: “When I say boom boom boom, you say bam bam bam.” While the song’s theme is a bit basic, Moosesha’s beat and backing track make it one of the best numbers on PaRappa the rapper 2.

7. “BIG” (PTR2)

In a game that features a ghost teaching you how to make burgers, the shrinking and growing ant song probably takes the cake for weirdness. Guru Ant takes PaRappa on an R&B journey as the Denoodlizer grows and shrinks throughout the rap. What makes this song really fun is Guru Ant’s emotional journey and performance. He goes from calm and collected to anxious and sporadic in just a few verses. Also, is this talk of growth and reduction also a hint of something? I guess we’ll never know.

6. “Chop Chop Master Onion Rap” (PTR)

This is the song that started it all. Even if you’ve never played all the levels of PaRappa the Rapper, you’re probably familiar with this introductory issue. Its steady beat and catchy lyrics will have you quote “kick, punch, it’s all in the mind” wherever you go. And once again, Chop Chop Master Onion knows how to combine movement with rhythm. Not only do you master the way of rapping in this number, but you also get some karate lessons at the same time. Speaking of multitasking!

5. “Prince Fleaswallow Rap” (PTR)

This reggae fusion song is a refreshing third number on the first PaRappa the Rapper. Prince Fleaswallow, who looks like he could be Rango’s cousin, provides a smooth beat as he runs his little company. In a series that challenges its players with quick button prompts, it’s nice to have a slower number to truly master the pace of the game.

4. “You can’t beat the noodles” (PTR2)

the villain of PaRappa the rapper 2Colonel Noodle finally takes on PaRappa in this riveting noodle number. Throughout this rap, we witness the intense verbal food fight between noodles, and well, NOT noodles. This is a hot and fun back and forth between these two characters. Also, it is impossible NOT to want ANY of the foods mentioned after this song. It makes us hungry just thinking about it!

3. “Instructor Mooselini’s Rap” (PTR)

Even if you haven’t played a single game of PaRappa the Rapper, chances are you’ll recognize this song’s piano intro and lyrics, thanks to TikTok (“Okay, we’re here. Just sitting in the car”). Instructor Mooselini is a strict instructor, but damn you KNOW the basics of driving after this song. She is also one of the characters that really gives her all, which is why she is at number three on our list. We can’t help but admire that level of commitment!

2. “Toasted Buns” (PTR2)

“Toasty Buns” is an absolute smash and is the perfect opening number for PaRappa the rapper 2. Where “Chop Chop Master Onion’s Rap” was a direct introduction to the rhythm game, “Toasty Buns” brings players into their respective game with much more flair. Also, a GHOST tells you how to make hamburgers. 10/10.

1. “PaRappa Live Rap” (PTR)

And at number one, we have the ending of PaRappa the Rapper’s first title, “PaRappa’s Live Rap”. PaRappa is not only joined by the coolest flea in gaming, MC King Kong Mushi, but this is one number where he really shines. Throughout the game, PaRappa desperately tries to learn new skills to impress Sunny Funny when all he really needs to do is be himself. His signature catchphrase is the song’s chorus, making it the perfect ending to the game and the defining piece of the franchise.

That’s our PaRappa the Rapper rhythm ranking! Hopefully this new age of consoles will grant us more PaRappa The Rapper. Hell, Crash Bandicoot got a new game on the PS5 after ten years, maybe there’s still hope for our favorite rapping dog. As PaRappa would say, “I have to believe!”

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